Ok

Ok I've been trying to think of something to write about for awhile now and I have been feeling this way for awhile but didn't really want to put it out there. Now I want to.

I love our church. I love the people there, they are so nice. The sermons are usually just what I need to hear. But no matter how much I love it, I can't get past the fact that I no longer feel like I fit in there. A few years ago, I was single, all my friends were single and we got together all the time. I know marriage changes your friendships but is it supposed to change it so much that you feel lonely? Now I wouldn't change being married-it really is the best this that ever happened to me. I love my husband and he is my best friend but he can't replace my girlfriends. I miss my girl time......the couples at our church that are around our age and married are either parents or live to far away. I used to have a core group of friends and now we are in such different stages of life that it is hard to find time to get together and if we do, it is weird.  Not that they don't still care for me because I know they do but it isn't the same. I need some friends.

Hubby and I joined a Bible study and I was excited because there were a lot of couples in it. However I still felt like I didn't fit in there....I never felt like I had enough to contribute to the discussion. I don't even get to see my husband that much. I hate that he has to work 2 jobs just to help make ends meet. I want a better life for us but at what cost? At the cost of not seeing my husband? I'm tired of this.