wow it's been awhile!!!!

Wow so much has happened in a year since I updated. I just felt like I needed to update today. Need somewhere to express my feelings.

I am so glad that I got the birth I wanted. May not have been at the the time I wanted but i got to do it my way. They never did figure out why I had protein in my urine and why it was so high. After I got admitted my blood pressure dropped and stayed low so pre-eclampsia didn't really fit what was wrong but they didn't have anything else close enough. The specialists that I met with seem to think that I may have an existing kidney issue that was never caught and pregnancy made it worse. When I had my surgery last year I was spilling proteins then too but once I got pregnant there wasn't any protein in my urine until the day I got admitted. They want me to see a kidney specialist now that I have delivered. Not sure what I am going to do. I am going to go see my GP and see what they think I should do-whether or not it is serious enough for a specialist. The last thing we need right now is another bill since we can't pay the ones we have now.

Anyway back to what I was saying about Levi's birth. My doctor was skeptical that the Cervadill would work since I wasn't dilated or thinned out at all. Well I proved him wrong. They put it in at 10pm on Monday night. At 4am my water broke on its own and the contractions started coming. They did still give me pitocin because i wasn't feeling the contractions. The contractions were awful. I was trying so hard to do it without an epidural but I couldn't take it. I asked the nurse for an epidural at like 5am or 6 and she told me no, you have to be 4 cm (which is crap bc anesthesia had told me earlier you can get it anytime) so she got me some random IV med (still don't know what it was). It didn't really help. My doctor came in at 7 to check up on me and i was in the middle of a contraction. He saw how much pain I was in and asked if I wanted the epi and I said yes and had asked for it but they told me no. He was not happy and told the nurse to get them in there to give me the epi. The anesthesiologist was a jerk and I hated him right away. If he hadn't been giving me drugs I would have made him leave. By the time I got the epi I was 9cm. Almost didn't get it because I figured I made it this far and could finish but I caved.

Levi was born at 8:11am. 4 hours from the time my water broke to the time he was born. Since I had meds in my IV that morning he came out groggy. i wish I hadn't gotten those meds. Still feel guilty about that. Because of his groggyness they took him to the nursery after we got to hold him. Jeremy went with him to the nursery and once the nurse helped get me changed and got me juice she left and I got to take a nap. So glad I could do that. I had taken an Ambien the night before so I could sleep but since I was in labor I didn't get to sleep. I was in a fog the rest of the day.

When we got to our room they brought the baby up and all our family came. I was so tired I just wanted to sleep but it was an endless stream of visitors. Not that I minded but really I just wanted to sleep. Jeremy's dad took him out to lunch as a congratulations and they were gone for hours. Jeremy wasn't very happy that it took so long because he wanted to be there with me and the baby.

Some things that I was unprepared for:
being admitted--wish I had packed our bags sooner
How much you bleed after delivery. I knew that you would bleed and a lot but HOLY COW. They changed my sheets like 2 or 3 times the first day because i kept leaking.
How frustrating Breast feeding would be. I knew it was hard and it would hurt. i was just in a blur thinking that my baby would be good at latching and feeding--yeah right. He continually falls asleep while feeding and I have to wake him back up to finish. I honestly and more frustrated at that than his latching which he has gotten better at. Just wish I didn't have to fight him to eat.

I can't wait until I feel up to exercising again. I feel good most days other than the soreness when I do too much. Im not sure if my stitches are still there but sometimes I can feel exactly where my episiotomy was because it gets sore. I can't wait to get this weight off. I only have 10 more lbs and I have reached my pre-pregnancy weight and then I can work on losing the 60lbs I was working on before I got pregnant.